1-01 | Changes in Life and Faith

Starting Fresh when Life and Faith don’t get along

Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up

(If you get that, we can be friends.)

I was part of the problem.

I was the lead pastor of a great church, respected in the community and my denomination. Through a long story of both fortunate and unfortunate events, I am no longer in staff ministry at a church. But overall, I loved it. One of the benefits of being out has been the ability to slow down and really study the Bible for myself. For years I had to come up with sermons every week and I relied on my denominational education for theological support as I wrote them.

I taught things that I now don’t agree with. It wasn’t intentional and it came from a sincere heart, but in my devotion and study since, what I began to realize is that much of what I grew up believing, was taught in Bible College and proclaimed from the pulpit every Sunday didn’t make much sense. I opened myself up to studying and thinking for myself, reading a wider variety of books and listening to other traditions.

I attend a conservative evangelical church that I love but I don’t believe all of the same things. They even let me preach there periodically, but I don’t use that as an opportunity to share my differences. That’s not the place for that. But even then, there are some in the church that don’t see things the same way no matter who preaches. In one church there are so many different ideas! It’s part of the frustration, but also, in a strange way, part of the beauty of the body of Christ.

I never knew much about deconstruction except I’d seen it a lot on social media. Turns out that’s what I’ve been doing with my religious upbringing and education for a while. Still, something inside of me believes. Trust me…I’ve tested it. I’ve shaken my fist toward the sky and yelled, “I hope you don’t exist!” I’ve since came to a place of acceptance and gratitude that he does indeed exist. More on that in another post.

Why this, why now?

“God, I want to forget everything I’ve learned about you and start fresh. I believe in you and I want to start again like I never knew anything about you.” That’s the prayer that started it all. And I think I’m not alone in that desire. In fact, I’ve talked to a few people who share the same thought.

Suddenly, as if someone was listening, my social media apps started blowing up with deconstructionists, conservative evangelical extremists and not much in between. People predicting the rapture, and people making fun those who do that. People who used to be on staff at a mega church but left the church and God, and people who are on the other side saying it’s their own fault and they just need to stop it.

All I see in the deconstruction space are the extremes. It just seems to be all there is. I see the ones on the side of, “Just stop it!” and those on the side of abandoning faith altogether. And everyone seems angry.

What is this community about?

I’d love to provide a place in the middle for people who have questions about God yet want to still believe in him. Maybe life seems to be handing you struggle after struggle. Perhaps you feel you can no longer believe in what your church experience has been but don’t know anything different. That’s a conversation I can get into. I think God welcomes it as well.

I’m going to write about life and all it brings. The good and the bad, and how God is still God in the midst of it all. I want to keep an overall positive tone, but still address some of the nonsense that is said and done in the name of Jesus. It’s not always going to be very reverent.

This isn’t a space for digging in our heels and being immovable in whatever place we find ourselves, but to be open to the possibility that some of the truth we were taught may not be truth at all. Or maybe there’s a difference between big “T” Truth and little “t” truth. (That post is coming.) This is a space to be real without judgment or condemnation. God doesn’t condemn our questions, so why should we?

When I said, “I was part of the problem” at the beginning of this post, it may have not set well with you. Maybe the whole big “T”, little “t” truth stuff upsets you. It’s possible that you don’t see things the way I see them. I want you to know that’s ok. I hope you keep reading. My goal is not to change minds, but to know God.

Thank you

I plan to post here once a week. It may get more frequent, but once a week seems good for now. Each one should only be a 2-3 minute read.

Thank you for reading. I hope this is the start of something beneficial, productive and maybe even healing for a lot of people.