Becoming Like Children

Child-LIKE, not Child-ISH

We babysat our granddaughter not long ago. And when I say we, I mostly mean Vicki. That little girl is just about the happiest baby I’ve ever seen. Always smiling. Always laughing. She reminds me of her mom as a baby. Well…all of our kids for that matter. All they wanted to do was laugh and have fun.

While I was busy dealing with the stresses of leading a congregation and paying our bills, life to them was an endless pursuit of the next fun thing.

Our youngest is 16. She was at our neighborhood pool with a friend yesterday while Tim and I (the dads) hung out and talked. Th girls had such a great time being silly and doing cart wheels into the water. Tim said something along the lines of, “It’s so great to still be able to see the little girls in our teenage daughters).

I couldn’t agree more. They are at the age that has a pull in both directions. On one hand, they are so young and still want to have fun all the time. On the other hand, they are driving and have part-time jobs. It won’t be long before responsibility comes knocking.

Adulting

There seems to come a point when the pull of responsibility overtakes the innate desire for fun. The ability to make sound decisions and take responsibility for yourself is a big marker of growing up. When young adults can’t seem to do that, we call it “failure to launch syndrome”. They would just rather keep having fun.

But is there a way to gain one without losing the other? Can we take responsibility while continuing to pursue happiness?

In my last post, I talked about John Locke’s view of the pursuit of happiness. He said it’s not about seeking pleasure and possessions in the moment, but striving for a full and meaningful life. I agree with that, but I also think it’s great to find pleasure in the moments of life as well.

“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” -Matthew 18:3

How can we have a firm grip on the realities of being an adult while maintaining a child-like pursuit of joy? How do we, as Jesus put it, “change and become like little children?” How do we change back to what we lost? What did we lose and need to reclaim?

Reclaiming What We’ve Lost

Curiosity - Kids are constantly asking why. Adults tend to lose curiosity and focus on known facts. It is because it is and we’re supposed to just know it. Asking why puts us in a lower position. But curiosity fuels growth, connection and success.

Start asking questions again. Others are probably too scared to ask why and will be glad you did. Be curious instead of judgmental.

Imagination - Kids find a stick and get excited. They turn it into a sword or a magic wand. Adults find a stick and see litter. We’ve traded daydreaming for practicality. But imagination is the root of innovation, vision and hope.

Start to visualize and dream of what could be. It doesn’t matter if it’s practical. Write or draw something just for fun.

Abandon - Kids don’t second guess themselves. They just don’t care about it that much. They dance when there’s music. They wear the silly hats from their class project all day long. They don’t care if someone else thinks they look dumb while adults can easily get paralyzed by what others think.

Let loose. Say what you think (as long as it’s respectful). Try something stupid even if you think you might fail.

Trust - Kids don’t worry; they just trust. They know they have parents that will care for their needs. Adults get burned somewhere along the way and start defaulting to distrust.

Loosen your grip on the illusion of control. Learn to trust again. And don’t forget you have a Heavenly Father that cares for you.

Whimsy - Again…it’s all a kid wants to do. Have you noticed that stress isn’t a kid thing? It’s an adult thing. Although, the ages of those feeling stress seems to be getting younger all the time. Adults and kids alike de-stress through fun—whatever that looks like for you.

Allow yourself to be goofy and laugh. Play a game. De-stress. Pursue fun just for the sake of having fun.

Resilience - Kids fall down and get back up again. I don’t remember a time in my childhood when I didn’t have scraped knees. Maybe I was just more clumsy than other kids? Adults try something once or twice. If it fails, they throw in the towel.

Look at failure as feedback rather than an end. The way you did something may or may not have been right. What can you learn? Fall down seven times, get up eight. (I don’t know if that makes sense, but it sounds awesome.)

Wonder - This one is my favorite. Kids lose their minds over puppies, stars and bubbles. They love to blow dandelion seeds all over the yard just to watch them fly. To them, it’s a miracle. To adults, it’s nothing. Hardly noticed anymore. An annoyance. Like, “don’t blow those seeds all over my yard!” kind of annoyance.

Slow down a little. Notice the beauty around you and let yourself be amazed by it. Let wonder overtake you once again.

Child-like or Child-ish?

It would be easy to look at that list and say, “Paul, that’s just childish.” I get it. You’re a grown up. Of course you might think that way.

I believe we can reclaim these awesome childlike qualities while still being fully functioning, productive, successful adults. In fact, I believe these qualities could greatly improve how you function, your productivity and your success.

People will want to be around you more. You will spread joy wherever you go. Doors of opportunity will open up more freely because of your infectious spirit.

Give it a shot! Let go and see what happens. What do you have to lose by adding a little fun and wonder to your life?

Grace and Peace to you.